Enter your email below to get Skinny Dippin' Updates!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Here is a good example of how assumptions make for bad policy.  The lady who wrote this poem is as thin and healthy as you can get.  By the sound of this poem, she doesn't stay that way by eating a government recommended diet:

No “Thanks” for Thanksgiving Dinner (2014?)

A timely piece of poetry by Cari Bieter

Thanksgiving Day is coming
And I can easily wait!
The tofu turkey’s in the oven,
So I’ll be good and late!

How times have changed, my darlings—
As I remember well
Aromas from the kitchen,
Oh, how I loved that smell!

Mom was in her apron,
All day fixing stuff!
Pumpkin pies and candied yams—
I could never get enough!

A great big bowl of dressing
Was stuffed into the bird.
I watched her pop it in the oven
Without saying a word!

Our relatives would pile in,
The house was such a clutter!
I could hardly wait to taste
Those rolls with lots of butter!

Our table would be groaning
With sweets and fatty food!
No one cared—we dug right in
Because it tasted good!

Heaps of mashed potatoes
with gravy thick and tasty;
Drumsticks plump and juicy,
 Pumpkin’ pies & pastry!

Alas, those days are over,
My taste buds dormant now.
The tofu turkey’s roasting,
And I shall take a vow:

I shan’t enjoy my dinner
On this Thanksgiving Day!
Without the buttered, candied yams
And mincemeat pies—no way!
Here comes Uncle Herbert
A bottle under his arm.
Is it wine? Or champagne?
No! They might do us harm!

“Bottled water is my gift—
A welcome change of pace!”
We sit down at the table,
No smile on my face!!

The government has told us
In no uncertain terms—
To gain an ounce is evil,
As bad as getting germs!

No sweets, no fat, no real meat,
And butter is the devil!
I’ll fixate on the good old days,
In those memories I shall revel!

Tofu turkey, sprouted bread,
Organic veggies too.
And for dessert? There’s no dessert—
Sugar is taboo!!


Happy Thanksgiving, my dears!


  1. I'm off to Sprouts in Round Rock today to buy my "Tofurkey"-- it's on sale too!

  2. hmmmm, I'd like to see a picture of the tofurkey on the table, cooked and ready to eat. How do they fake the dark meat with that ... lol?